Tuesday, July 31, 2007

today, the plan

i'm approaching today with a different strategy.
rather than spreading the chores and errands out throughout the day - i'm going to set the timer this morning for 60 minutes and see how much i can get done in a concentrated amount of time.
i don't think it should take more than that much time to do the housework - and then i'll be left with a whole day to focus, focus, focus on knitting. i'm going to knit like it's my job. which is what i want it to be. time to start acting like it.

i will let you know how it goes.
(going to eat breakfast first.)

Monday, July 30, 2007

the weekend, in summary

1. paul surprised me with the new HP book friday night and i finished it today during my lunch break. hope i don't give anything away that i shouldn't by saying i'm very pleased with the way J.K. finished up my favorite seven-book series.

2. friday night: pizza, beers, and learning to play euchre with the bartholomews. i had heard such great things about euchre from a few different people and all i'm left with is "did we miss something?" the only thing that made it remotely fun was the beers...not the game. company was great.

3. saturday: went to olde ipswich days with the barts. was a nice sunny excursion. spent only $5, avoided buying any books at the library book sale. only one book tempted me, i carried it around for a few minutes and then put it back.

4. also saturday: after olde ipswich days i took a nap for a couple hours (recovering from euchre night) and then when i woke up paul suggested we splurge and go see the simpsons movie. SO funny. SO worth it. SO nice to go to a movie that was only an hour and a half long. SO fun to be surrounded by some hardcore simpsons fans.

5. sunday: relaxing day mostly - puttered, worked on a sewing project for helen (sewing for $$ is the best), and then had girls night with my hannah. we went to see Dear Liar at Gloucester Stage Company which was a lovely enjoyable production. the story is about the letters between George Bernard Shaw and his lady friend Mrs. Patrick Campbell. after the play we went to The Franklin restaurant downtown for drinks, appetizer and dessert. it was really a good time - i don't think i realized that i was missing time with just-hannah. rather than with hannah-with-penelope-and-or-with-chucko-and-or-with-paul-and-me. it was good friend time. i hope we do it again soon.

6. today: finished HP - i cried. treated myself to Subway for lunch. totally worth it. say what you may about Subway - but i love their sandwiches. maybe i just love someone else making me a sandwich :) had a good time with miss libby in rockport this afternoon. relaxing evening - did the dishes anyway. then paul and i went out for ice cream cones - i couldn't finish mine and froze most of it (if nothing else, doing weight watchers definitely reduced my portion sizes) and then came back to play some mario party 7. i don't know why but i'm avoiding going to bed. right now we're smelling and seeing smoke outside so we called the police dept just to let them know - so they called the fire dept for us. they just called us so paul was talking to them and apparently they're sending a truck out to investigate. exciting times here in east gloucester.

nighty night.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

how it went...

update on my list from yesterday:

-i did some knitting, and anticipate doing some more as soon as i'm done my dinner
-i have not vacuumed the livingroom - that may get done before bed
-dishes are done
-the kitchen floor is SHINING (i imagine i'll be anal about sweeping and wet-jetting for the next few weeks)
-laundry is done, just one load to be folded and put away
-brownies are made and paul looooves them (and it made the house smell great)
-i read more harry potter - two chapters and i imagine more before bedtime
-i didn't sort the mail basket - that one will haunt me until i do it
-i didn't transplant the herbs - but i watered them!
-i didn't upload disney photos. maybe i'll do that right now.
-no letters written. but i thought about it!

not too bad. honestly if all i did today was the kitchen floor i would have been a happy camper.
hopefully thursday i'll be able to spend more time on knitting.

Monday, July 23, 2007

tomorrow, tomorrow - i love ya...

after a few months of regular work weeks, my schedule is back to what i had hoped for when i quit my job last december. i'm working MWF and I have T & Th off to do with what i want. hurrah!

here's what i'm hoping to do tomorrow:

-finish up some knitting stuffs - including blocking
-vacuum the livingroom
-dishes
-SCRUB the kitchen floor - i'm talking about getting down on my hands and knees
-laundry
-make brownies
-read more harry potter, half-blood prince
-sort through the basket of mail - it's where all the mail gets dumped
-maybe transplanting my baby herbs - here's the holdup - i HATE paying money for potting soil. seriously, i'm paying for dirt. this is hard for me to accept.
-upload pictures of our trip to disney this past may to flickr.
-write a couple letters. why do i have all this pretty stationery lying around if i never write any letters?

wish me luck!

what's going on...

a list - because that's what i write best.

1. we went to see Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix on Saturday night with Chuck & Hannah (our first outing with them without Penelope since she was born!) and i liked it okay but didn't love it. it felt very rushed and very abbreviated. there were parts i really liked and other parts i hated that they messed with.

2. paul went to a library book sale with me on Saturday morning and i bought eleven books for $13.50. does it get any better than that? i walked through the tables they had set up and judged all the books by their covers. it was fun.

3. yesterday i organized yarn stash & projects and needles and whatnot. i love doing that. it's good to take inventory of what i've got in progress. i have at least six or seven projects that just need buttons and/or blocking. and really - only a couple projects on needles that are still in the active knitting stage. my goal this week: spend at least an hour each day on "finishing" and no starting any new projects until the finishing is done.

4. another goal this week: minimal grocery shopping. last week i organized freezer & pantry and tossed very old things and took note of what we've got on hand. aside from buying bread & milk & cheese (i can't live without cheese!) and some produce i honestly think we have enough food for meals for a couple weeks, considering it's just the two of us and any meal we cook is usually enough for one night + a leftover night. just now while home for lunch i put together a BIG batch of mexican soup. we'll eat some, put some in the fridge for other lunches & dinners and put a few containers in the freezer. i love mexican soup and it's perfect on this rainy day.

5. i've been trying to keep an ongoing list of house projects that can be worked on when i have more than a few minutes. hopefully tomorrow i'll have time to tackle a couple. (on the list: kitchen cupboard organization, some plant transplanting, clothes purge...)

time to get ready to head out the door to spend the afternoon babysitting.

Friday, July 13, 2007

dumps

as in - down in the...
or - on the way to being down in the...
or - thinking about how to avoid visiting the...

the past few days i've been having dreams about old friends. friends i don't know anymore - friends i wonder where they are and what they're doing. i think this has brought about a quasi-mourning to my system. mourning old friendships and relationships. my brain knows that people come and go in the course of one's life. my heart wishes that i was the kind of person who was good at staying in touch and working hard at keeping someone current to me - and hates that i'm not. i'm often lazy about it. but my heart swells when i think of some of these people - about how special they were to me for sometimes such silly reasons and sometimes not at all silly reasons and i wonder if i had kept up with them or tried to reconnect with them - if i could have the experience and the appreciation at the same time. how great that would be. but i know that they are different and i am different and any connection or relation would be different.

my dreams are very vivid. and they stick with me. and i wish i could shake them.

for the past couple days i've been slipping towards tears. the dreams. and commercials. even talk of little penelope potentially starting daycare - it hit me that she's growing up so fast. and her mom and dad are talking of moving to pursue grad school. which just makes life and adulthood seem very real and scary. it's a reminder that eventually paul and i are going to have to make some big decisions and those are extremely frightening to me.

so i feel it. i feel it physically. it's a lump in my throat. it's biting the inside of my mouth. it's having to slow my breathing. it's approaching like an asthma attack where you need to take control of yourself when it's so easy to panic instead.

i'm trying to tell myself to buck up, but this is one of those times that simply thinking of something that makes me smile - even the best picture of my adorable niece - gives just a tiny second of relief.

i'm antsy - i don't feel like knitting. and i don't feel like reading. watching t.v. just makes my mind wander. it's too hot to go for a walk. what's the point in cleaning or organizing.

the ennui has arrived and i know it's the precursor to a low. i don't like my lows.

so i'm trying to find a way to stop myself from falling in - because - doesn't it make sense that it's easier to not fall in than climb out?

okay - now i've written about it - maybe i can hold a train of thought for more than a few seconds now.